There are days when I wake up in the morning where I feel that I don't have control over what is going to happen that day. Days when I wake up and think that this day is different somehow. Not in a good way, but in a way that leads me to believe that an unexpected piece of news will come my way and rock my world in a manner that I have never experienced before. When those days come along, I am anxious, I know the news is coming. It is out there, I just have to find it. unfortunately, bad news doesn't always seek you, but it is you who must search for it sometimes. I burn through my minutes on my cell phone searching for the right combination of words to extract this piece of news from friends, family or whoever may quell my insurmountable anxiety that is peaking as the minutes tick away on the clock. tick. tock. tick. tock. tick. tock.
nothing.
Nobody answers their phone. nobody wants to subside my fears. What is happening? Is everybody safe? where are my loved ones? I can't put a finger on it, but something is wrong. something is undeniably wrong.
the phone rings.
the voice on the other end is calm, collected, steady. Like it was shocked with an electric pulse that rendered the speaker emotionless. I heard the words. They sunk in, but the magnitude of their impact wasn't immediately felt. The aftershock was rough though. I felt a sinking feeling deep inside me. My mouth gaped wide open. My eyes welled up with tears, and i felt my voice leave my wide open lips with a crackle. I dont remember what I said. I knew it was coming, but I was hoping that it would be a bit later. This soon?
I hung up the phone.
I dipped my head in my hands and felt the angst and the emotion course through my body. I was crying.
I talked to her last almost one year ago. I told her I would come home and visit her. I haven't had the chance to though. Money was always tight. Money always ends up being the problem. I hate that distance separated us in her last days. Now, it's too late.
I will never see her again.
My Nana.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Dont Pet the Sweaty Things, 7/10/08
Well, another edition of "Dont pet the sweaty things, and dont sweat the petty things" so, without further interruptions, lets get on with it
1. don't sweat it when your boss gives you an impossible task without giving you enough instructions. chances are, he had no idea how to do it himself, and was actually stuck on this for the last week, unfortunately, its time for his bi-weekly golf outing where he kisses his boss' boss' ass, and tries to work his way further up the corporate ladder where he can successfully spend a day without doing anything and get paid $80/hr doing it too. So smile, enjoy the extra work load, and hope that when your boss climbs that ladder, you can jump high and grab on to his pant leg and use him to get a level or two up.
2. if people insulting your race, religion, culture, job or appearance is a fairly common occurance in your life, rest assured, the person insulting you is actually jealous of some extra advantage you are getting. lets say for example somebody is clearly racist against you. You know that your minority race gets some benefit in universities and some cheaper tuition or more scholarship opportunities. that person with their white boi ass are just jealous that they cant get their kid in college as cheap as you went through college. take that white boy!
3. Males with female names. like Kim, Lindsey, Brooke, and Alexis. That is CONFUSING! just stop it. though, the reason you shouldnt sweat it, i dunno, people with gender confusing names deserve a name change form.
4. bands that sound like nickleback. its only a phase, though I wonder why a band would possess itself to try to sound like something that is almost as bad as Creed. remember them? Have they killed themselves yet?
5. Pickups that slow down to a crawl for a speed bump. especially when the pickup is lowered and put on 20's. WTF! douchebags!
6. people that ask stupid questions. you know, they do it because it gets them attention, they do it because they really are stupid, or they do it because in their mind, this is a legit concern that needs to be addressed, asap pronto. Bottom line, they will continue to do it, and guess what buck-o, you do it too, so get over it.
7. ok I'm done.
1. don't sweat it when your boss gives you an impossible task without giving you enough instructions. chances are, he had no idea how to do it himself, and was actually stuck on this for the last week, unfortunately, its time for his bi-weekly golf outing where he kisses his boss' boss' ass, and tries to work his way further up the corporate ladder where he can successfully spend a day without doing anything and get paid $80/hr doing it too. So smile, enjoy the extra work load, and hope that when your boss climbs that ladder, you can jump high and grab on to his pant leg and use him to get a level or two up.
2. if people insulting your race, religion, culture, job or appearance is a fairly common occurance in your life, rest assured, the person insulting you is actually jealous of some extra advantage you are getting. lets say for example somebody is clearly racist against you. You know that your minority race gets some benefit in universities and some cheaper tuition or more scholarship opportunities. that person with their white boi ass are just jealous that they cant get their kid in college as cheap as you went through college. take that white boy!
3. Males with female names. like Kim, Lindsey, Brooke, and Alexis. That is CONFUSING! just stop it. though, the reason you shouldnt sweat it, i dunno, people with gender confusing names deserve a name change form.
4. bands that sound like nickleback. its only a phase, though I wonder why a band would possess itself to try to sound like something that is almost as bad as Creed. remember them? Have they killed themselves yet?
5. Pickups that slow down to a crawl for a speed bump. especially when the pickup is lowered and put on 20's. WTF! douchebags!
6. people that ask stupid questions. you know, they do it because it gets them attention, they do it because they really are stupid, or they do it because in their mind, this is a legit concern that needs to be addressed, asap pronto. Bottom line, they will continue to do it, and guess what buck-o, you do it too, so get over it.
7. ok I'm done.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Pentagon reopens tanker competition
Well, it turns out the Airforce was indeed incorrect when they initially assigned the $35 billion project to the team of Northrup Grumman and EADS and eliminating Boeing from contention.
Boeing was arguing this for the better part of 2008, they put together a legal team to say that the Airforce initially picked the european based site to design and build the new aerial refueling tankers. Boeing felt it had the better offer, and it was the better "bang for the buck" contract for the government that would lead to the best results long term for the american tax payers as well provide many opportunities for american workers.
The initial contract was awarded to EADS back in January which led to controversy and discussion among the analysts as to the reason for picking the european contractor based in France (Home of Airbus) over an american manufacturer. The claim was that the european contract was more cost effective and cheaper for the airforce. well, I'm glad that is out of the way.
Boeing has already proven that their decision making was faulty, and that they ignored key elements in Boeing's bid for the contract. This would be devestating for The Boeing Company, had the bidding not been re-opened, as this even triggered the beginning of the steady 5 month decline of Boeing's stock price, which was at a 5 year high in October at $105 a share, while now barely surpassing $66 a share earlier today. Not only is this contract going to help the stock price rise, but it will also give workers at the Boeing company a sense of pride (Boeing employs over 20,000 people in its US sites alone) and motivation at their tasks at hand. It will offset any potential bad news regarding further delays on the new Dreamliner 787 plane set to take its first flight in January of 2009. Though, with the current procurement issues one has to wonder if that deadline will be met, especially when Boeing hasn't met several of its milestone deadlines.
Still, the contract is not Boeing's at the moment, in fact, the selection process no longer belongs to the Airforce, it is now in the hands of the Pentagon's chief weapons buyer. Is this a good thing for the boeing company? it all depends on how they structure their new contract, and whether they take into account changes that EADS and NG may make in their contract bid.
The Pentagon is hoping that a decision will be made by the end of the year
Boeing was arguing this for the better part of 2008, they put together a legal team to say that the Airforce initially picked the european based site to design and build the new aerial refueling tankers. Boeing felt it had the better offer, and it was the better "bang for the buck" contract for the government that would lead to the best results long term for the american tax payers as well provide many opportunities for american workers.
The initial contract was awarded to EADS back in January which led to controversy and discussion among the analysts as to the reason for picking the european contractor based in France (Home of Airbus) over an american manufacturer. The claim was that the european contract was more cost effective and cheaper for the airforce. well, I'm glad that is out of the way.
Boeing has already proven that their decision making was faulty, and that they ignored key elements in Boeing's bid for the contract. This would be devestating for The Boeing Company, had the bidding not been re-opened, as this even triggered the beginning of the steady 5 month decline of Boeing's stock price, which was at a 5 year high in October at $105 a share, while now barely surpassing $66 a share earlier today. Not only is this contract going to help the stock price rise, but it will also give workers at the Boeing company a sense of pride (Boeing employs over 20,000 people in its US sites alone) and motivation at their tasks at hand. It will offset any potential bad news regarding further delays on the new Dreamliner 787 plane set to take its first flight in January of 2009. Though, with the current procurement issues one has to wonder if that deadline will be met, especially when Boeing hasn't met several of its milestone deadlines.
Still, the contract is not Boeing's at the moment, in fact, the selection process no longer belongs to the Airforce, it is now in the hands of the Pentagon's chief weapons buyer. Is this a good thing for the boeing company? it all depends on how they structure their new contract, and whether they take into account changes that EADS and NG may make in their contract bid.
The Pentagon is hoping that a decision will be made by the end of the year
Monday, July 7, 2008
Toyota to add solar panels to Prius hybrid: Nikkei | U.S. | Reuters
Toyota to add solar panels to Prius hybrid: Nikkei U.S. Reuters
seriously, are we trying to make the prius any uglier? its already the ugliest most desirable car, by a fuel-efficient mile! what else are they going to do? add giant solar panels on top of it? My opinion is that that would make it very house-like. which is good, I guess.
we need more people who enjoy sniffing their farts.
seriously, are we trying to make the prius any uglier? its already the ugliest most desirable car, by a fuel-efficient mile! what else are they going to do? add giant solar panels on top of it? My opinion is that that would make it very house-like. which is good, I guess.
we need more people who enjoy sniffing their farts.
Sunday, July 6, 2008
the return
so I am writing on this thing again, for no reason really other than to amuse my own self and to avoid the perpetual boredom that has engulfed every waking aspect of my life. though, in reality, I haven't really been bored lately, though I find it amusing to complain about boredom.
Interesting bit of news that has weirded me out in the last few weeks are the stories of the "man" that gave birth. Now, I'm all for the rights of everybody, including those that decide that god didn't create them the "correct" way... or whatever their excuse is. But there are some people that feel that they are better off as the other sex. So they seek this refuse behind the guise that is the outward appearance of the opposite sex. I wonder how that helps their psyche, if anything, it seems to confuse them more and more. I mean, the male transgendered individual who dresses as a woman, gets surgery done to have the physical traits (on the outside) of a woman, do they ever truly believe they are indeed a woman? how about that woman that had the baby after she was "officially" a man? Whats even more shocking is the fact that s/he was married to a woman. Now, thats not a problem either, but the wife claims to be straight, though, if your husband has a vagina and no penis, wouldn't your sex inevitably be lesbian-esque at best? How can you claim being straight if your husband's only claim to manhood is facial hair and a beer belly with saggy man boobs? Moreover, how does it make you feel as a woman if your husband gave birth to a child before you ever did?
I'm sorry, Im rejecting the notion of a male having a baby. because in my own world, the difference between male and female is what is inside (the reproductive system for starters) so if your body were to somehow be fossilized for future inhabitants of this planet to study and examine and try to understand our species, and you are a specimen of interest, you would be considered as female. plus, your brain is physically smaller than all other males on the planet. sorry "wodude" you can have your baby, its beautiful, but you're still a woman.
Interesting bit of news that has weirded me out in the last few weeks are the stories of the "man" that gave birth. Now, I'm all for the rights of everybody, including those that decide that god didn't create them the "correct" way... or whatever their excuse is. But there are some people that feel that they are better off as the other sex. So they seek this refuse behind the guise that is the outward appearance of the opposite sex. I wonder how that helps their psyche, if anything, it seems to confuse them more and more. I mean, the male transgendered individual who dresses as a woman, gets surgery done to have the physical traits (on the outside) of a woman, do they ever truly believe they are indeed a woman? how about that woman that had the baby after she was "officially" a man? Whats even more shocking is the fact that s/he was married to a woman. Now, thats not a problem either, but the wife claims to be straight, though, if your husband has a vagina and no penis, wouldn't your sex inevitably be lesbian-esque at best? How can you claim being straight if your husband's only claim to manhood is facial hair and a beer belly with saggy man boobs? Moreover, how does it make you feel as a woman if your husband gave birth to a child before you ever did?
I'm sorry, Im rejecting the notion of a male having a baby. because in my own world, the difference between male and female is what is inside (the reproductive system for starters) so if your body were to somehow be fossilized for future inhabitants of this planet to study and examine and try to understand our species, and you are a specimen of interest, you would be considered as female. plus, your brain is physically smaller than all other males on the planet. sorry "wodude" you can have your baby, its beautiful, but you're still a woman.
Saturday, March 3, 2007
Don't pet the sweaty things, Vol. 1
The first of many in a series of "Don't pet the sweaty things." A series designed to give you a guide on what things are not worth worrying about, and to help you lead a healthy life style. well, here is installment #1:
1) A Broken Mouse - go buy a logitech laser mouse, it has a fricken LASER shooting out of its ass!!! now that's technology.
2) The Cold - yeah, yeah, the cold sucks, but thing of it this way, you'd rather be cold than have cancer... right?
3) A Stopped Watch - I understand that a stopped watch could be an annoyance, especially if you are like me and rely on your watch to tell you the time. However, thing of your watch as the shackles that modern society has placed around your wrist. And now, imagine freedom.
4) Laundry - Unless it has the smell of sweat... don't worry about it. but if it does have the smell of Sweat, don't pet it.
5) Extra-Curricular Reading - With the dawn of graduate level learning, sometimes I find myself unable to take some time to myself and read for fun. The solution? suck it up, it can't be that bad to not get to read your trashy romance novels over the weekend.
6) Gym, to go or not to go - If this is a decision that you struggle with on a constant basis, then you haven't gotten addicted yet, which means that you probably, like me, haven't given in to the pressure of society to keep yourself physically fit, and/or desirable to the other sex, there is more to a person than chizzled abs, or a tight ass. for example, there is some merit to love handles.
7) Facebook Addiction - My generation could forever be known as the facebook/myspace/friendster generation, although, I was one of the earlier people to use facebook at my school, I remember times before they had picture hosting. If your facebook addiction bothers you, just be glad that you aren't addicted to Crystal Meth, that should do it.
That is it for today's edition. More to come soon.
1) A Broken Mouse - go buy a logitech laser mouse, it has a fricken LASER shooting out of its ass!!! now that's technology.
2) The Cold - yeah, yeah, the cold sucks, but thing of it this way, you'd rather be cold than have cancer... right?
3) A Stopped Watch - I understand that a stopped watch could be an annoyance, especially if you are like me and rely on your watch to tell you the time. However, thing of your watch as the shackles that modern society has placed around your wrist. And now, imagine freedom.
4) Laundry - Unless it has the smell of sweat... don't worry about it. but if it does have the smell of Sweat, don't pet it.
5) Extra-Curricular Reading - With the dawn of graduate level learning, sometimes I find myself unable to take some time to myself and read for fun. The solution? suck it up, it can't be that bad to not get to read your trashy romance novels over the weekend.
6) Gym, to go or not to go - If this is a decision that you struggle with on a constant basis, then you haven't gotten addicted yet, which means that you probably, like me, haven't given in to the pressure of society to keep yourself physically fit, and/or desirable to the other sex, there is more to a person than chizzled abs, or a tight ass. for example, there is some merit to love handles.
7) Facebook Addiction - My generation could forever be known as the facebook/myspace/friendster generation, although, I was one of the earlier people to use facebook at my school, I remember times before they had picture hosting. If your facebook addiction bothers you, just be glad that you aren't addicted to Crystal Meth, that should do it.
That is it for today's edition. More to come soon.
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Chirac awards high French order to Clint Eastwood | Top News | Reuters.com
Chirac disrespects Americans
In the latest bout of bigotry shown by the French, their President, a certain Monsieur Chirac has 'awarded' famed American Actor and Director Clint Eastwood The Legion of Honor, which is the highest French Order. However, what was failed to be shown by the general public was that France awards the Legion of Honor to EVERYBODY, thats why they have five different classes. The highest class is reserved to those who are truly respected and revered, while the bottom order is the one that is most commonly handed out. So common in fact that my grandmother was 'awarded' one, and she's never been to France.
Not only did they insult Mr. Eastwood by awarding him the lowliest honor that France can award, the speech given by President Chirac was mired with insults and hidden venom. "At this side of the Atlantic ... you embody Hollywood. In France, your films cost millions of viewers [their emotional well being] because they are simplistic...[and] cynical."
I only ask my fellow Americans, when will it all stop?
In the latest bout of bigotry shown by the French, their President, a certain Monsieur Chirac has 'awarded' famed American Actor and Director Clint Eastwood The Legion of Honor, which is the highest French Order. However, what was failed to be shown by the general public was that France awards the Legion of Honor to EVERYBODY, thats why they have five different classes. The highest class is reserved to those who are truly respected and revered, while the bottom order is the one that is most commonly handed out. So common in fact that my grandmother was 'awarded' one, and she's never been to France.
Not only did they insult Mr. Eastwood by awarding him the lowliest honor that France can award, the speech given by President Chirac was mired with insults and hidden venom. "At this side of the Atlantic ... you embody Hollywood. In France, your films cost millions of viewers [their emotional well being] because they are simplistic...[and] cynical."
I only ask my fellow Americans, when will it all stop?
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