Dont Pet the Sweaty Things, 7/10/08

Well, another edition of "Dont pet the sweaty things, and dont sweat the petty things" so, without further interruptions, lets get on with it

1. don't sweat it when your boss gives you an impossible task without giving you enough instructions. chances are, he had no idea how to do it himself, and was actually stuck on this for the last week, unfortunately, its time for his bi-weekly golf outing where he kisses his boss' boss' ass, and tries to work his way further up the corporate ladder where he can successfully spend a day without doing anything and get paid $80/hr doing it too. So smile, enjoy the extra work load, and hope that when your boss climbs that ladder, you can jump high and grab on to his pant leg and use him to get a level or two up.

2. if people insulting your race, religion, culture, job or appearance is a fairly common occurance in your life, rest assured, the person insulting you is actually jealous of some extra advantage you are getting. lets say for example somebody is clearly racist against you. You know that your minority race gets some benefit in universities and some cheaper tuition or more scholarship opportunities. that person with their white boi ass are just jealous that they cant get their kid in college as cheap as you went through college. take that white boy!

3. Males with female names. like Kim, Lindsey, Brooke, and Alexis. That is CONFUSING! just stop it. though, the reason you shouldnt sweat it, i dunno, people with gender confusing names deserve a name change form.

4. bands that sound like nickleback. its only a phase, though I wonder why a band would possess itself to try to sound like something that is almost as bad as Creed. remember them? Have they killed themselves yet?

5. Pickups that slow down to a crawl for a speed bump. especially when the pickup is lowered and put on 20's. WTF! douchebags!

6. people that ask stupid questions. you know, they do it because it gets them attention, they do it because they really are stupid, or they do it because in their mind, this is a legit concern that needs to be addressed, asap pronto. Bottom line, they will continue to do it, and guess what buck-o, you do it too, so get over it.

7. ok I'm done.

Don't pet the sweaty things, Vol. 1

The first of many in a series of "Don't pet the sweaty things." A series designed to give you a guide on what things are not worth worrying about, and to help you lead a healthy life style. well, here is installment #1:

1) A Broken Mouse - go buy a logitech laser mouse, it has a fricken LASER shooting out of its ass!!! now that's technology.

2) The Cold - yeah, yeah, the cold sucks, but thing of it this way, you'd rather be cold than have cancer... right?

3) A Stopped Watch - I understand that a stopped watch could be an annoyance, especially if you are like me and rely on your watch to tell you the time. However, thing of your watch as the shackles that modern society has placed around your wrist. And now, imagine freedom.

4) Laundry - Unless it has the smell of sweat... don't worry about it. but if it does have the smell of Sweat, don't pet it.

5) Extra-Curricular Reading - With the dawn of graduate level learning, sometimes I find myself unable to take some time to myself and read for fun. The solution? suck it up, it can't be that bad to not get to read your trashy romance novels over the weekend.

6) Gym, to go or not to go - If this is a decision that you struggle with on a constant basis, then you haven't gotten addicted yet, which means that you probably, like me, haven't given in to the pressure of society to keep yourself physically fit, and/or desirable to the other sex, there is more to a person than chizzled abs, or a tight ass. for example, there is some merit to love handles.

7) Facebook Addiction - My generation could forever be known as the facebook/myspace/friendster generation, although, I was one of the earlier people to use facebook at my school, I remember times before they had picture hosting. If your facebook addiction bothers you, just be glad that you aren't addicted to Crystal Meth, that should do it.


That is it for today's edition. More to come soon.